Birthdays.

Today is my birthday.

While I don't like my birthday, considering it the worst day of the year, it doesn't mean I want to spend it alone.  It's the worst day of the year because inevitably it reminds me how alone I am.  This isn't to say I don't have someone.  I have my parents, and they're quite good about it, though I don't recall the last birthday party I had that I wanted.  I was a kid.  Last year, they invited people over that aren't really my friends.  But to be fair, my best efforts to overcome how horrible IRL I am with interacting with people have failed, so I have really no one else within proximity and all the people there were very nice and gave me nice little things.  I respected it for what it was.

But that was the first since I was a kid.

I don't like getting older, but who does?  I don't want to be one of those women that has her 29th birthday five years in a row.  Tempting as it is, really, that is something that catches up with you.

Really, my ideal birthday is to just... maybe to go driving with someone.  Just have someone's time be mine for the day.  I don't want gifts.  I just want to have someone go 'I'm yours for today, let's have some fun!'  I have two friends, too far away.  And they tend to be quite busy.

But apparently expressing depression over this day leads people to automatically assume that you don't want anyone around you.  I would say something, but I'm afraid of sounding contradictory.  If multiple people think this is your stance, then clearly it's a social standard: 'hate birthday' = 'i want to be alone'

So, another birthday will be spent alone.  Alas.